Enough is Enough

Guess i've had enough dramas in my life..only realizes that just now! huh! i wanna scream my heart out and tell the world this is me! a more stronger and braver me. how i wish it was that easy. how i wish i realizes that before i turned myself into this some kind of SHIT! I hate myself for being like this and now I wanna change that. I wanna be the Bitch that will kick some ass! I just so love love this exuberance of freedom that I'm feeling right now. Enough for the heartaches that's making me sick and kill the person in me and of course the tears that keeps on falling because of all the hurt and so much pain. I wish someday he'll realize all of this. he'll find out within himself how bad he is to me. I hate you so much that i wanna get even..at least?! You push me away and that's the sad truth! No matter how big my love for you, this has to end. I love you so much but it's about time to start loving myself. I've given almost half of my life to you, I praised you. made you the center of my everything.give up my own happiness and dreams. you literally had my life and soul that should be enough. Laugh, laugh, and more laughters! i wanna enjoy the new ME! P.S. Got songs for you baby! check out JLo's Alive! lovingly dedicated to you...enjoy!

"Soon, Baby....."

"Soon, Baby" was his exact words today May 6, 2012 at exactly 7:39pm during our heart to heart chat. And with both hands, i am holding on to his promise. Finally i was able to talk to him and blurted all out. everything that's been running in my head and lying in my heart for quite sometime. I've been carrying this heavy load and it gets heavier as days passes by because i have no one to talk to. all i have is myself and this blog but thankfully i made it all happened. I really hoped he understood and he truly listens and understands what i am going through. I felt instant relief after saying all my fears, doubts and feelings to him and i thank him for all the kind words and for not making it hard for me. I was able to say it all through chat and not during our voice chat. Crying my heart out which really helps ease the pains. Thank you baby for the time. thank's for all the effort. i wont promise you anything coz i know it's gonna be hard for me right now but rest assured that i will do my best to forget the past and move on to a more healthier and happier married life. I thank God for giving me YOU! Thank you for all the effort and thank you for all the promises.....

Contentment

"Contentment" just a word but has very very big meaning to every individual.... When can i really have one?...i wish it was that just easy but it's not. It's a fight between the good you and the bad you...huh?! Uttering the phrase and claiming that "I am contented" is such a crazy thing. i guess it's very rare to find a person that can say that he/she is truly contented with everything he/she already had. Some say, it's not ok to be simply contented because everybody has a dream and dreaming is free so we cannot be contended just like that coz we will stop dreaming, right? but on the other hand, it is also good to be just contented with what you have and avoid the evils that goes with not being one. i'm really in awe trying to figure out what contentment really means for me. i guess one thing i'm applying in my life that's fair enough is my belief that everything should be in moderation. it's ok to dream but let's not become to ambitious with that dream so that if it didn't turn into reality we can still manage to stay put. And from time to time we should know and try to realize what's in store for us so that we can learn to appreciate what is already given to us... fair enough, right?